re:definition

tortured

daeniel — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 10:03:18 +0000

Yeah, I’ve been gone for so long
But did you miss me home all by yourself?
Could you wait to kiss me
Or did you find somebody else?
When you got lonely
Was I always on your mind?
Still the one and only?

cold hearted

daeniel — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 02:37:10 +0000

haha
last night i had another dream with my tooth falling out. it’s happened before. it was an over sized front tooth more on the right side of my mouth (not the bunny teef). according to what i’ve read (a lot of it sounds bogus) it is an over exaggeration of anxiety, a sense of fear of what’s bound to happen, and an overall troubling time transitioning into adulthood. what the hell? i’m nineteen years young and here i’m questioning whether this means i’ve hit puberty or not. this is all cornier than beef in a can.
maybe that’s why it makes so much sense

….
suck it up.

“Somebody once told me that I’m already in hell
Freedoms a state a mind
And just the heart of me’s in hell
I free my slave mind so a part of me’s in hell
And when it’s hard to breathe, a part of me inhale
So pardon me you gotta’ try hard to be yourself
‘Cause you can’t get to heaven being anybody else
And I was raised by a reverend yet the lessons didn’t help
I had to get ‘em for myself
I was told hell is hot, But had to feel it for myself
So I left home, as a young child smiling as I stepped on
Facing the world but naked, without my weapon
I lost my smile and in exchange, I put a vest on
Now that my premature stress is gone
I got problems to face as a man
I was told you either stand or you fall
As long as you know when you walk you holdin’ hands with a god
That alone can turn the dark to a walk in the park
I only talk from my heart so open yours when you listening
Every man has his own heaven the difference is the way that he envision it”

-blu on the world is…

above the clouds

daeniel — Fri, 29 May 2009 21:10:24 +0000

last night i had a dream that i was hanging out with blu and his producer from johnson&jonson crew. we were kicking it in the kitchen and grubbing on some food that i don’t remember. it was really weird. i remember feeling too cool to ask for his autograph but i know i should’ve done it.

….
disrupted in the morning by another bounced check from the roommate. insufficient funds. will delay june’s rent. also, disrupted from another day of inconsiderate roommate rabbit humping.

nothing new

my savior

….
later that day
job attempt fail no. 2 (hired twice, failed twice)
kobe’s 35 pts and 10 assists take LA to another NBA finals
5 dollar whole chicken from safeway
24 oz. olde english
rekindled with yahoo pool
about to finish off survivor

one step closer

daeniel — Fri, 29 May 2009 09:08:26 +0000

i feel like i am inches away from fully being anally raped by this system

a direct product of budget cuts and the same problem i’ve been dealing with for 17 years

i never knew it would bite me in the ass this fast, this hard.

black mamba will shit on the rest son

mission: impossible

daeniel — Thu, 28 May 2009 06:15:47 +0000

yesterday:

- woke up to get ready for downtown
- followed a craigslist post for an italian restaurant job opening; headed to north beach w/ a resume
- home for eggs, chicken, and rice
- got a call for second interview for guess
- watched a canadian on tv make the most successful counterfeit money
- headed to fcc with jr and paul: spoke with folks about workshops (boxing, hip hop, graffiti) and gained an overall perspective of progressive community work in the heart of sf
- had an orgasmic time watching star trek
- marinee’s thai food
- spinach dip, costco trail mix, dark lager, dave chapelle, and family guy @ jr’s (the same pad we had a crackin grad party at on sunday!) to finish off the night.
- turns out there was more at home: filled out late night applications/vchat with the girlfriend

another day of a simple mission trying to get work. failed id’s and continuous back-logging of id renewals from INS isn’t enough to stop my efforts. despite the bartender’s focused attention on another tall lady while i entered the restaurant to turn in my resume, i am still trying, sacrificing as if it’s a part of my first nature. unfair is another term i endure without hesitation; more like an eager understanding for what i deal with everyday.

fuck ignorant roommate dynamics

lakers FTW

“May I be of complete and utmos service.

Let my every task be my grace.

In my every labor lies my salvation.

Let my effort not be waste.

Through my works may I save the world.”
Chuck Palahniuk on Survivor

never again

daeniel — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 09:34:36 +0000

will i feel from what you have caused me:
corrupted lawyers – why does my mom have to pay for you?
uninspiring teachers
cycles
things that don’t ever change
things that change
writer’s block
women that sacrifice without recognition
rich history that never is recognized enough
ignorance
lack of considerations (sometimes i am my own victim)
overrated sandwiches that sound good on the menu
rappers that can’t rap
poverty as a result from greed
delayed muni
geology tests that require too much information

…because you need to find new tactics.
what other kind of ammunition do you have to shoot?

____
you are the only thing that will never leave me. you have never disappointed me. the world is mine

____

borders, korean food, communications midterm, spaghetti, beer, and cranium served as the heroes for last night. oh and more
stumbled upon this @ borders

The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran (Chapter 13)

Then a lawyer said, “But what of our Laws, master?”
And he answered:

You delight in laying down laws,
Yet you delight more in breaking them.
Like children playing by the ocean who build sand-towers with
constancy and then destroy them with laughter.
But while you build your sand-towers the ocean brings more sand to the shore,
And when you destroy them, the ocean laughs with you. Verily the ocean laughs always with the innocent.
…But you who walk facing the sun, what images drawn on the earth can hold you?
You who travel with the wind, what weathervane shall direct your course?
What man’s law shall bind you if you break your yoke but upon no
man’s prison door?
What laws shall you fear if you dance but stumble against no man’s
iron chains?
And who is he that shall bring you to judgment if you tear off your
garment yet leave it in no man’s path?
People of Orphalese, you can muffle the drum, and you can loosen the
strings of the lyre, but who shall command the skylark not to sing?

damn. on point.

____

scary catholic picture of the day:

st. joseph of nazareth. the saint i was confirmed with

a glass case

daeniel — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 09:05:02 +0000

“I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged, that’s all.

Their feathers are just too bright… and when they fly away, the part of

you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice…

but still, the place you live is that much more drab and empty

that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.”

- red on “shawshank redemption”

scary

daeniel — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 08:57:16 +0000

i’m not one to complain, but…

this goes out my calvary christian ex girlfriend who broke up with me just because i was catholic:

scary enough? i’ll take any picture requests.

jeebus has risen

daeniel — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 12:09:21 +0000

a long time ago I was watching “House”. you know how they start off the average episode with a quick scenario that transitions into a commercial, then leaving you with a strong hook?

well, this episode consisted of a pig high off of something.

this cop attempted to arrest a man while he was high. but he was so distracted that the 5o fell to the floor. the suspect got away.

the doctors assumed that because of his cloudy lungs, the problem was simply marijuana. but wait… that does not make sense. ganja is magical; the substance was not enough to explain his bloody coughing.

so the black doctor went to the copper’s pad and found a disgusting, foul smelling, apartment. this pig could not–I repeat, could not–clean up after himself. after further investigation, this copper was so dirty and unsanitary that he poisoned himself with his lack of cleaning!

if you saw how my bathroom was just a few hours ago, I rightfully claim that it was a bathroom scene straight out of this episode.

i felt like a guerrilla warfare soldier straight from WWII, because I equipped myself with a bandanna, shorts, and a shirt wrapped around my face. once i got pumped from Phoenix’s new album playing from my laptop a few feet away from the bathroom, I cleaned that mother fcuker like there was no tomorrow.

mom, you should be proud of me. next time i’ll take a before and after picture.

after that I cleaned all of my roommate’s empty Smirnoff bottles from the living room.

I enjoyed every minute of it, because it was a perfect medium for my frustration in finding a place to stay at for August 2009, my concern of a best friend’s opinion about me, and because I have been freestyling all day so I needed to resort to cleaning.

go house.

happy easter